Monochrome World
by December21
Summary: Through strange dreams, Kagamine Rin meets her otherworldly counterpart, Len, who mirrors her in almost every way except for the cold gaze and empty eyes all the fighters of that world share. To bear her pain, he fights the infamous Mikuo. But what kind of measures will Mikuo use to inflict pain on Len? Meltdown!Lenx Rin xAppend!Mikuo
1. The day I first met you

Author's note:  
Don't worry, the rest of the vocaloid and BRS TV cast will appear as well... Eventually. I will try to incorporate as many characters as possible.

Brownie points to anyone who can spot allusions to a few vocaloid songs (more notably, meltdown). Hehe, can you catch 'em all? ;)

Edit: I've revised this story after setting it down for more than a year. I hope it's better than before and if you have any input I'd love to hear it. As always, enjoy!

* * *

Gray. Whether or not her eyes were open, that was all Rin saw and felt.

She moved her fingers; she had not lost over sense of touch but her world had lost it's clarity. She instantly related it to how she felt after breathing in "laughing gas"-anesthesia- at the dentist for a few minutes. There was the diluted but sickly sweet smell of that substance and at the time her own breathing was loud in her ears. The film over her eyes didn't disappear no matter how much she blinked and there it stayed. Dull and grey.

A detached feeling had captivated her body. She was aware of her surroundings but she lacked enough interest to care. A heavy grey fog drifted in the stagnant air, adding to the surreal effect. It swayed in a strange manner like it had a mind of its own. It wasn't hot and moist like the locker rooms in school after showers but cool and dry like an airtight fridge. This dream was interesting enough, she supposed as she rolled to her feet.

Rin hadn't ever had firsthand expiriance with lucid dreaming but she took this to be one of those. Though the ground beneath her was completely solid and immobile she felt unsteady like a drunkurd.

The strange heavy mist hugged her ankles as Rin took a step forward, it warped and ripped around her like water, though much slower, like cooling magma. Closer to the ground she could see that the white mist turned into a murky black color.

Between ripple breaks Rin noticed the cracked pavment under her feet. There was some loose grime and dirt and... Paint? Rin caused more ripples in the fog to get a better look at it. Sprawled here and there were a few splatters of something in random patterns: Red, black, purple and orange but a majority of it was a brilliant gold and a deep blue. It seemed as if someone decided to have a paintball fight... _In the middle of nowhere._

Well, not quite. Large broken toys three-no, four times the size of her and cascading broken pillars made it look like a hybrid of a nightmare and a child's play room. Above the fog were tall skyscrapers and of course other slim buildigs of sorts. They extended as far as she could see in fog, which wasn't very far. They receded quickly into the distance, surrounded by mist.

On her right Rin noticed a broken mirror frame propped against one of the pillars. It had a crack down the middle but otherwise was still intact. In it Rin could see herself well enough.

The outfit she wore was so foreign to her. Rin thought that in dreams you only recalled things from reality but this was aparently not so. The mind was a powerful thing, she felt.

The dress seemed at war with itself; the high-waisted bodice was half black on one side and half white on the other. The lower portion of her dress was inverted with white and black halves. At least, her detached sleeves has some sort of consistency, as they were both black. Her outfit ended in knee-high white boots with dainty yellow laces. The entire thing was topped with yellow frills and gold seams along the dress. Overall, it was very fanciful and rebellious at the same time. She admired it with a strange facination.

Rin approved, oddly enough. It was to her liking but she mentally noted that she wouldn't want to be seen wearing this getup in real life. She wasn't one who cosplayed much, unlike Gumi who was the worst closet otaku in the school.

Someone spoke out and Rin jolted with a start. She would have seen anyone sneak up behind her in the mirror. She whipped her head around to look for its source and quickly found it.

"What are you doing here?" The voice sounded familiar but Rin couldn't place it. Somehow, she felt that it _should_ be familiar to her.

The unusual outfit first caught her eye. White knee high boots, black pants tucked in, yellow tie, loose ponytail, and more importantly: outfit halved by white and black. Rin didn't make the connection at first but it didn't take very long to click. The outfit was a boy's mirrored version of hers. Somehow, it looked better on him.

She had to double take to the mirror to make sure she wasn't imagining him. She felt her heart stop- he had no reflection in the mirror. She suddenly felt very alert and awake.

"Y-you don't-" Rin started but cut herself off. His face almost matched her own too. Almost. The eyes, hair, skin- everything was virtually the same. But the expression he wore certainly could never be worn by her. His relaxed gazehad such an intensity that had her captivated. She felt that if she stared too long into his eyes she might fall in and never resurface. In that exact moment, Rin felt like he was staring right through her.

"You're..." The words died on her lips. Were you supposed to introduce yourself to yourself in your own dream? She wasn't entirely sure how this was supposed to work. Rin found herself staring at his blonde, tousled hair akwardly for long periods of time. She opened her mouth again to speak but he spoke first.

"Rin?" It was less of a question and more like a statement. His voice was a few octaves lower but sounded much like her's, had she been a boy. He tilted his head to the side and repeated her name a second time, testing the sound of it. He looked slightly pleased, at least, as much as cold expression would show.

"I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to meet you." He told took a few steps toward her and she saw he was a little taller, much to her dismay. "It's not often you get to meet your other self."

_Other self?_

His eyebrows furrowed. "How did you get here?"

_You tell me_, Rin thought.

He examined her a little more, eyeing her from head to toe. Then he walked away, now bored with what he saw.

"Where am I?" Rin followed him like a lost puppy.

"My world." He called over his shoulder. He bent over to pick up a weapon she hadn't noticed laying there before. It was a large black and gold scythe that had an odd cityscape silhouette behind the head of the blade. At the moment, she wasn't sure if she liked him.

"How narcissist." Rin mumbled quietly enough that she thought he wouldn't hear.

"Pardon?" He turned around. She sighed, apparently not.

"That still doesn't answer my question," she said. "Where am I?"

"Is my answer not good enough?" He weighed the scythe in his hands and then swung it around a few times like a baton. He held the strange weapon with ease.

"No." Rin said as her eyes followed the spinning blade.

He turned toward her again. "Really?" He raised an eyebrow and bent so that they were exactly eye level.

"Really." Rin wondered where exactly this conversation was going.

He suddenly straigted and his eyes flickered back and forth, looking for something she couldn't see. The corner of his mouth twitched into an odd grimace. "Wrath."

"Huh?" Rin looked around but didn't see anything.

"He's coming," he muttered to no one in particular.

"What? Who?" Rin was going to say more but he grabbed her arm and pulled her a distance away. Without her permission, she was shoved behind a nearby decaying pillar.

"Stay." He commanded, his hands lingering on her shoulders.

"'m not a dog."

"Stay put." He repeated and shook her slightly.

She wanted to argue but did as she was told. His hands fell slack at his side when he finally felt confident that she wouldn't move. He hesitated for a moment but took off on a run.

Rin sunk behind the pillar into the fog but peeked her nose around the corner to watch.

He was fast, but someone else was faster. A white blur kept off one of the buildings. It flew straight down and almost landed straight on him. Missing, it skidded kicking up dirt and dust. The fog parted and made a clearing for this sudden movement.

It was someone that looked a lot like-no, almost exactly like her best friend, Miku. He was also a boy, like her otherworldly counterpart. He had turqoise hair like the normal Miku too, but of course lacked the twintails. His form fitting white shirt and detached tie vaguely reminded her of the movie Tron, or suggested something futuristic. Above his black pants (leggings?) was some sort of belt or device she couldn't find the purpose for. He had long fingerless gloves that cut off at his upper arm. Above it was written "01" in red. In his hands he held something that resembled a sleek cannon with teal glowing markings that ran down the base of it. The strange markings pulsed as if they contained their own heartbeat. This other Miku was extraterestial, a cyberpunk in this dystopian world lost in time.

The Miku she knew in real life was her best friend. It was strange, how could such a face so familiar to her be so different? He was oddly expressionless like her own counterpart. _Except_... there was something in that smile that suggested something inside of him was off center.

Rin shivered though wasn't what made her cringe. She cringed because of what she saw in his eyes and on his weapon.

A dark liquid mix of blue and purple glinted off the his weapon and now that she noticed it, it was partially on his boots as well.

The smile quickly fell off his face and he lunged straight at the "Other" Rin.

Rin shrunk behind her pillar and curled up as small as she could. The awful sound of weapons clashing and cannon noises resonated through her ears. "Miku's" cannon sounded like some inhuman machine when it fired; It was frightening to the core.

Rin hazily wondered if 'Miku' had the upper hand. Probably not though, it didn't sound like it. They both sounded equally menacing.

She wasn't sure what to make of this dream. There were inhumanly strong people in bizarre outfits that fought for no good reason. There were odd landscapes and strange fogs. That, she thought, was the strangest dream she'd been in so far. Then again, Rin couldn't recall many other dreams she had.

It took a while until Rin realized that the fighting had stopped. Still in a crouch, she carefully peered again behind the corner. Luckily the fog was enough to hide her well.

"Gold Death," said miku's genderbent counterpart. He was standing close enough to the pillar that she could have reached out and touched him. Not that she would, at any rate.

If she hadn't known better it looked like he was sniffing the air. He stared elsewhere then sharply turned towards his enemy. Rin's other self was tense, weapon drawn low.

"Have you brought a pet, goldilocks?" Rin dared not breathe. She could almost swear he could smell her fear. She felt herself consciously moving back.

"This fight is between me and you."

"Not so. I don't enjoy obstacles in my way. " He suddenly turned around and slammed his cannon against the pollar.

Rin fell back with terror as the arch collapsed. She was scurrying like a mouse, running as fast as her legs would carry her. As a large rock almost toppled over her she was whisked away by strong arms.

Just in time, she was a hair's breath away from the falling rock's reach. The pillar was now completely fallen to the ground and Rin was forever thankful that she was not under it.

Still breathing heavily, Rin didn't have a chance to collect herself. One moment she was underneth a heavy body and the next she was thrown to the side like a stuffed toy. The otherworldly counterparts were fighting above her and her eyes couldn't keep up with all the weapons clashing. She felt like she were a slab of meat beneath two fighting dogs.

In an instant the other Miku was in front of her. Pointed straight at her temple was a smaller pistol millimeters away. She felt her heart beating in her chest a thousand times a minute and her knees shook.

Her other self called to her. "Rin!"

There was no winner; Gold Death quickly withdrew from the scene, taking Rin with him. Her stomach lurched as she was whisked away, tumbling now through the gray sky. Her insides flopped each time when she felt their momentum drop. Leap. And again she was flying. Her skirts billowed in the wind as cold arms in black gloves embraced her.

The ground came up fast but they landed softly with each hop. Finally, they landed on a balcony of sorts. Despite the smooth ride Rin felt shaken. Still in his arms, she clutched the shirt of her traveling companion. "Let's not do that again, please."

"Shhh. He's still here." He clasped a hand over her mouth and she realized she was pressed against a contcrete wall. Rin felt her face turn twenty different shades of red as he hugged her tightly to his chest. Oh, what her mother would think! Had she been this close to him the entire flight?

She pried his hands off her mouth and whispered quietly out loud. "Goldie...?"

"What?" He hissed like an angry cobra.

Rin lowered her voice and squirmed in his arms. He was not warm like a human should have been, she noticed. "Could you.. Uh, let me go?"

"What's wrong?" His hard expression shifted and he blinked at her. Did he not know that there were such things as personal boundaries? Rin assumed that social norms were applicable even in nightmares. Then again, nothing was as it should have been in this dream.

She struggled out of his grip but his hands stayed clamped on her. "Let me go!" She whispered.

"Shh!" He put a finger on her lips. He looked around and then his voice dropped even lower. His cool breath tickled her ear. "Just a moment longer. I'll teleport you then."

"Why not now?" His hand returned to her mouth to keep her quiet.

Rin had to strain to hear what he said next. "He might intercept the portal. You could end up in another world."

"Mmph." Rin meant to say how stupid he was but it came out as a muffle.

"As a side note, you can call me Len."

Rin didn't think to learn her counterpart's actual name. Rin was a male name as well, so it made sense in her head. She didn't think in dreams her mirror image would have a different one. It sounded odd, foreign even. Len. Gold Death. Len. She liked it.

_Len_.

They stayed quietly locked in an embrace for what seemed like forever. Her entire face felt hot and she was sure it showed. Then Gold De- Len looked around cautiously and loosened his grip on her. One hand stayed on her upper arm and she was glad for the support. Her knees felt like jello and she felt his hand was the only anchor that kept her from collapsing.

"What's wrong?"

"Idiot." Suddenly she slapped his hand away. He was unfazed by her anger.

"I just saved you."

Rin decided that she would rather have been saved then killed by her best friend, but she was still displeased. (Whether to not it was actually Miku, was up for debate.)

The corner of Rin's lips turned into a frown. "That could be considered sexual harassment."

He blinked. "I don't follow."

"Nevermind." She wondered if he lived under a rock.

Rin relaxed and tried to regain her composure. She walked towards the edge of the balcony and was mindful not to tread on the parts that seemed unsteady. Carefully, she held one of the rails. The thick layer of fog almost made her believe that she were above the clouds. Briefly, Rin imagined that she was in some sort of airship sailing through a fantastical night. That was more believable than what she'd already seen and done.

The fog created a somewhat clear horizon line but Rin couldn't make out the sun or any sort of light source. Light seemed to be everywhere and nowhere at once. There were no distinct shadows in this world nor was there any brightness. This dream defied logic in ways she thought weren't possible.

"Rin?" There was urgency in Len's voice,

"What?" Rin turned towards him, "What's wrong?"

His footsteps were more quiet and less clumsy than her's, she noted. In long strides, he was by her side in less than a moment. He picked up her hand and turned it over with her palm facing up. He displayed a small inking of emotion when he saw a cut on Rin's hand. It was one that she hadn't noticed there before; it wasn't too deep but it was long and extended from her palm down to her wrist. She must have got it when she was running away from Mikuo.

"You're hurt."

"You worry about the stupidest things."

Rin found him to be very strange. He treated her with coldness whenever they interacted. Even though he hugged her, there was no feeling or warmth in it. Emotionally and literally. Still, somehow, it seemed he had an obligation to protect her. Now Len was cradling her hand like she were a child because of a small cut on her hand.

"It's probably time you go home." He said. Rin pulled her hand away. She thought she was already home, in bed, asleep.

Len continued. "I don't know how you got here but please... Please don't come back."

He raised his hand to her cheek. His fingertips barely touched her but when they did, everything around her was gone in an instant. The monochrome world and his image flickered wildly before her eyes and then disappeared like a snuffed candle.

Before Rin knew it she was in her own bed, tangled up in her sheets. Her heart was beating a thousand times a minute and her mind was racing. She blinked and rubbed moisture out of her eyes. It felt as if the room shrunk half it's size in an instant. Everything felt suffocating and hot. Strange dreams.

Instinctively, Rin examined at herself. She was wearing her plain white nightgown she went to bed with, not some elogant or fanciful black and gold dress.

The walls, the ceiling and and the ceiling fan, and their ugly créme colors, suddenly seemed vibrant and natural in contrast to the gray world.

The bright red alarm numbers to her left read 7:15- she was going to be late for school in she didn't hurry. Rin whipped off her blanket and hopped out of bed. She looked down at her hand and stifled a gasp when she saw that the cut was still there.

She quickly bandaged it and got ready for the day.

End of chapter.


	2. Mirror Images

Rin walked as fast as she could down the corridors without running- as per school rules. Sadly, she was interrupted.

"Kagamine-san! Good morning!" She turned and saw Mrs. Saya standing by the counselor office doors. Rin forced a smile and waved weakly back.

"What's wrong? Are you in a hurry?"

"Ah- not really..." Rin scratched the back of her head. She hated herself for being so akward around people.

"You can always talk to me if you need to." The counselor smiled with such kindness that Rin felt she would melt on the spot. "Would you like something to drink? I know you don't like coffee but I have hot cocoa too. It's quite the hit with the upperclassmen." _Good. A distraction. Miku will never find me here._

Rin felt her own heart thaw too at this counselor's warm smile she felt herself returning one too, for real. "That would be nice."

"How are you, Kagamine-san?" Saya-san said as she poured hot chocolate. She handed the mug to to Rin. She thanked Saya politely as she'd been raised to be.

Rin tried to drink it sparingly though her appitite nagged at her. She had skipped breakfast and she felt she hadn't tasted something sweet for a long time.

"I'm well, thank you," Rin said. "And you?"

"I'm good, actually. You're such a sweet girl like your mother."

"You knew my mom?" Rin was surprised. She knew Lola went to the same school as her when she was her age as well but she had never once mentioned Mrs. Saya.

Saya-san nodded and took the seat across from her. She poured herself a hot drink as well. "Me and Lola were in the same grade. I never knew her personally but she was kind to everyone. You have a cousin who attends here too doesn't she? Neru, right?"

"Yeah."

She nodded and then threw her head back. "Cousins, huh? thought so." She sipped her coffee. "You both look like her. Honestly, I almost thought you were fraternal twins or something."

_Twins. Mirror images. Len._

Rin didn't like where this conversation was going. She glanced at the clock, knowing the bell would ring in five minutes. "Will I be late for class?"

"Don't worry, kids come here during class all the time. I'll notify your teacher."

"...Okay."

Mrs. Saya sensed her urgency and went straight to the point. "You seem to have a lot on your mind. Is something wrong?"

"I wouldn't say 'wrong'... but there's something that has been bothering me."

"What seems to be the matter?" She said. Rin thought Saya-san was starting to sound like a therapist. Quite frankly, it scared her.

"Remember what you said at the beginning of the year? About... you know.."

"Mm?" Saya-san looked a bit confused.

Rin tried to bring up the topic without sounding silly. "Someone is fighting for us, right?"

Saya absentmindedly began stirring her coffee. "Yes.. I remember."

She waited for Rin to go on. "Did you mean that... literally? Or in a figurative sense?"

"I meant it in the most literal way. There is someone who fights for you and bears your pain."

"What-How exactly does that world work?" She stopped herself and clenched her bandaged hand. "I mean, theoretically of course."

"It's very real, Kagamine-san." Rin felt her breath catch.

"Go on." She said.

"I don't know everything about it, but I know enough. What are you looking for?"

"Well.. I don't know. Do they feel and act like us?"

"I suppose you could say they don't feel anything... Your thoughts and feelings transcend into impulses they act on." That was a lot to swallow. Rin gave Saya-san a blank stare.

Saya-san clarified her statement: "In sum.. They fight to bear your pain."

"Don't they have pain of their own?"

"Well.. Physically, maybe. But they are much stronger and have a higher pain endurance, I think. I don't know the mechanics of it."

"Wait- you mean... They feel nothing?"

"They typically, don't feel emotions. But they can learn to feel like you and I."

"Oh.. So they mainly fight?"

"I suppose so. I wouldn't know what they do when they don't," she laughed at her own lame joke. Saya-san was a very strange woman to Rin.

"So..Do you mean actual fighting, like guns and swords? So, our counterparts-"

"Counterpart?" Saya stopped with her cup half-raised to her lips.

"I-yes. They look like us, right?" Rin said.

"Your talking as if you've already been there, Kagamine-san."

"Have you?" She said. There was a long pause between them.

"I can't really answer that," She said. Rin gripped her mug a little tighter. Was Saya pretending not to know something on purpose? Last time they talked about it Mrs. Saya seemed so convinced that this world really was there. And Rin was almost convinced that it was too. Now Saya-san was pretending it were a child's fantasy.

Saya-san set down her cup in the coffee table. "You seem to have more insight than I do."

"Not really." Rin didn't feel comfortable sharing the contents of her dream with anyone, let alone the school counselor. "I was just curious. Listen, I'm sorry for wasting your time."

Rin set down her empty cup and stood up.

"I feel like there's something your not telling me, Rin."

"Then that makes us even." She collected her textbooks and folders she had set down beside herself and stood up.

"Kagamine-san, other worlds aren't something to be messed with."

"So you do believe in it."

"I never denied it's existence."

"I'll talk to you later if I need help again," she said. "Thanks, Saya-san."

"Rin-"

She slid the doors shut behind her.

What was her problem? Rin thought she had at least some right to know about this other world, considering it was being waved in front of her face like catnip. What could Saya-san possibly gain from hiding things?

The border between fantasy and reality seemed paper thin. Rin wasn't so sure where those borders between reality were. Again, she felt like she were in the gray areas.

With her eyes narrowed, Rin looked at the seating arrangement written on the board. She disliked new seating charts (and chemistry), she decided just now. Rin was friendly enough, she supposed, but she never connected to anyone on a deeper level than nessesary. In general, there were few people she got along with, and the ones she did, only tolerated her because otherwise Neru would hunt them down. Neru would beat them up if she found out if they so much as stared at Rin the wrong way. Her cousin was quite an odd child. Violent and distrusting but loyal. And an obsessive texter, She was never without her phone for a moment.

Rin wandered her way to her new seat just as the bell rang. Her new seat partner was already occupied with her nose burried deep in a book. Was that Yuu...?

Normally she wouldn't mind sitting next to Yuu Kotari but ever since... Well she didn't know exactly when but Yuu started acting differently. In general, Rin never remembered her being this cold. Or quiet.

They were never really friends but Rin practically idolized her and Mato. Born like two peas in a pod, Mato and Yuu were best friends. Yuu was best in almost every sport. Best in... what sport was it again? Rin's memory got hazy and she often found she blanked on memories relating to Yuu.

"Rinny-chan!" A shrill voice sang from behind her. Not just any voice though, Rin recognized that one from anywhere.

Before she had any chance to respond she was assaulted with hugs. She almost fell out of her chair and she swore she saw stars.

"Rinrinrinrinrinrin!" Her name was sung in one long slur.

A firm scowl was on set in place on Rin's face but if she were honest with herself, she was happy to be hugged by her best friend anyway.

After a long moment of suffocation, Miku unlatched herself from Rin and put her hands on her hips.

"You butthead!" Rin gulped. She was in for it, she knew. Miku continued, "Even after all the reminders I gave you, you stood me up. You have any idea how long I waited by your locker?"

"Like, two minutes?"

"Five!"

Rin rolled her eyes and pretended to gasp. "Heaven forbid if Miku-chan had to wait five minutes."

Miku tried to scowl but started laughing. "I'm serious-"

"Alright class, please turn to page 234 in your textbooks." Kiyoteru-sensei was already at the front if the classroom writing something on the whiteboard.

Miku lowered her voice. "I'll catch you later. You better be by your locker next time."

She flashed Rin a smile and then disappeared to her seat. She wasn't sure if it were a threat or a joke.

End of chapter.


	3. Empathy and Sympathy

Chapter 3

That evening, Rin's phone buzzed all through the night with texts from Miku. Rin was tired; boy problems this, homecoming that and gossip gossip gossip. Miku could keep this up until the next school day if she wanted. She finally told she was tired.

After sending the last message, Rin tossed the mobile device haphazardly across the room. With mostly luck and little aim, it landed on a heap of clothes.

Rin laid in bed for a long time doing absolutely nothing. She began toying with the charm bracelet on her wrist. She never took it off just as miku always wore her part as well. Rin's bracelet was filled with an assortment of charms and among the first she collected was half of a heart that fit with Miku's. After some fitful rolling and tossing, Rin forced her own eyes closed and willed her mind to slow down.

Tonight, again, the gray world returned. In it's own due time, of course. Sleep came upon her slowly but when it arrived, she somehow found herself in Len's world again.

The dreamscape was oddly nostalgic in a way she couldn't explain. She couldn't place it but felt she already knew it very well as if she had been here numerous times.

This night, however, she was glad to be wearing the same clothes she fell asleep with rather than the fanciful dress. She was in a white nightgown like usual. She thought she looked as if she were wearing rags to a masquerade but she was glad to be in something more for fitting for herself.

Rin wandered for some time, not sure what to expect. She kept a careful eye out for the fake Miku as to not meet with him again. She did not fancy going on another joyride.

It didn't take too long to spot Len. He was sitting with his back against a building. He has his arms crossed and his scythe resting on his shoulder. Rin approached him quietly, just in case he was sleeping.

"I told you not to come back," he said with his eyes still closed. She hadn't even made a sound. Either he had supersonic hearing or was sidekick.

She wasn't sure if she should walk away at this point or stay standing there. She chose the latter.

"Go back home," he said.

"I am home." If Rin believed it hard enough, she were only asleep in her room. That lie was getting harder to believe.

"Are you sleeping?" She walked over to his side with some caution like he were a tiger that could leap at any moment.

"I was, until you came."

"...Oh."

He stayed silent while Rin stood there blinking.

The long stretch of silence finally became unbearable to Rin.

"What do you do here?"

He finally opened his eyes and he shrugged. "Fight?"

"You... sleep?"

"Just as much as you do."

"Oh... that's... nice."

"Yes... nice." He looked at her through half closed eyelids,

He sat down and set his blade beside him. She decided to take the empty spot oposite of his scythe; Rin still didn't feel comfortable around the strange weapon.

He eyed her suspiciously. "Are you going home yet?"

"No. Do you have any hobbies?"

"Hobbies?"

"Yeah. Like sports or something."

He stayed quiet and then answered carefully. "No...?"

"Do you do anything?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, like, outside of bashing people in the head with that... thing." It was meant to be a light joke but it fell flat. He stared and then she added, "Like... Fun?"

"I don't follow."

Rin sighed. "Do you live under a rock?"

"Obviously not."

Rin exhaled loudly. "You're boring."

"And you're a nuissance," he said indifferently.

There was another long stretch of silence until Rin finally spoke up.

"Our school counselor said people like you can't feel pain. Is that true?"

"Our bodies are much stronger than your's but we feel pain too."

"Not emotionally?"

"I haven't felt it before but I suppose not."

"Okay... What else _do_ you live for?"

"I don't know what you mean."

"Len..." Rin started. She found she liked rolling his name off her tongue. _Len Len Len Len_

"Yes?" He turned to her.

"What do you know about my world?"

"Not much."

"Don't you ever want something more?"

"This conversation is weird."

"Just listen for a moment. Don't you ever think about what _you_ want? Or that kind of stuff?"

"No."

"There must be more to your life than this."

"Why should I be discontent?"

"Can't you recall a time where you've felt love... or happiness? Don't you ever want to learn how to feel?"

"It would be a burden to carry in battle. I'm just saying that emotions aren't vital to survival my survival like they are to your's. Your system of human values is unessesary." He said.

_Of course_, to someone whose only goal was to fight, happiness and the smaller things in life wouldn't seem important, Rin supposed. But still... "Do you even know what emotions are?"

"I know what they are." Len ran his finger along the dull edge if his scyth. Rin admired his gold eyes reflected on the metal.

"But you haven't felt them."

"Yes."

"Then you don't understand."

He started tracing his index finger along the cityscape silhouette. "You never seem satisfied. Why won't you go home?"

"I want you to know what happiness- and love is like."

"Fine," he set down his weapon. He sighed heavily, this time out of annoyance. "Then tell me. What is love?"

"Love is-..." Rin paused for a few seconds. "Being in love is like..." She thought about the way she felt about Oliver at school. She vowed to herself that one day she would confess her feelings.. And maybe he would feel the same way and they would-

"Well... There are lots of kinds of love, like friendship or family I guess. But the special kind is when you like being around that certain person." She fumbled with her bracelet as she talked for a distraction. "You can't stop thinking about that them and it makes you feel nervous and excited whenever you do. Your heart beats really fast and you blush whenever you see them-"

"That sounds awful."

"Shut up."

Len's expression displayed some boredom. "Is that all?"

"No. When you like each other and if the feelings are mutral, you're are in a relationship, normally."

He lowered his eyebrows but bade her to continue anyway. "What do you do in a relationship?"

"Umm... You sometimes date, and stuff," she said. "Do you know what a kiss is, Len?"

"Isn't it a type of food that exists on your earth? Like small cake or cookie, typically a meringue?"

She slapped her hand to her face and shook her head. "...No."

"Wait, it's that kind of chocolate, right?"

"...No."

"I don't understand." He said. Did she really have to explain the definition of a kiss to him?

"It's..." Rin fiddled her thumbs. "It's when two people kind of like each other and their lips touch..."

Len wrinkled his nose. "Why would someone want to do that?"

"B-because-! You like each other and it feels- I don't know! Okay?"

She crossed her arms and turned away. His expression didn't change. "You're weird, you know that?"

"You wanted to tell me this."

Rin sighed and and turned towards him. "Is this making any sense to you at all?"

"No."

She slumped a little more and laid her head on his shoulders. He instantly stiffened at her touch. He stayed tense until he finally allowed himself to relax. She exhaled deeply and closed her eyes.

"What will it take for you to understand?"

End of chapter


	4. Marionettes and things on strings

Chapter 4

"Hey, Rin! Over here!" Miku beckoned to Rin from across the hall.

From her own locker, Rin inched her way to Miku's side through the chaos of students.

"Hey," Rin huffed. Boy, was _she_ out of shape.

"I'm eating in the lunchroom today." Miku shifted her books to her left side and started filing them into her locker.

"Oh?" Rin it her lip. "I thought we were eating in the library, like usual."

"Well, someone invited me to sit by them at lunch and I thought you might want to come too."

Rin wasn't sure if that were an invitation. Sitting in the lunchroom packed full of noisy students was the least appealing thing at the moment to Rin.

_Like I'd ever want to-_

"You wanna come?"

"Sure thing."

"Good," She said. "I didn't want to spend lunch without my second favorite person in the world."

_Second?_

"Oh, I'm sorry," Miku noticed Rin's slight frown. "There's a special someone I'm seeing."

"What?" Rin's eyes widened. "You never told me. Gosh, you scared me there for a second."

"Heh, sorry Rinny-chan."

Rin punched her lightly in the arm. "Don't ever joke about replacing me like that."

Miku beamed brightly at Rin and she smiled back. Miku pulled two bentou boxes out of her locker and then closed it. She hooked her free arm in Rin's left then started down the hallway.

"I didn't know you were that close already to him."

"Well, we weren't really but, I don't know. I've been seeing him at work a lot and we talked a lot and... Ah, there he is!"

Rin instantly felt claustrophobic when they entered the cafeteria. The mixed aroma of foods made her stomach crawl.

"Oliver-kun!" Miku waved. As she trotted over to a boy wearing the blue upperclassmen's tie, she pulled Rin as if she were a child's balloon.

Still attached to Rin, Miku gestured towards the other blonde.

"Rin, this is my friend, Oliver."

_I thought I was your friend. Your best friend._

Rin smiled weakly and waved. "Hey."

Rin had always kept her crushes a secret, even from her best friend but now she regretted it. She just about wanted to die.

"Oh, hey rin." He said.

"You two know each other?"

Miku's arm fell slack at her side. Rin shoved her hands in her sweatshirt pockets. "Uh, kind of. We have biology together."

"That's great!" Miku smiled.

"You're Neru's cousin, right?" he asked. Rin stared at the floor.

"Ha ha, yeah..." She scratched the back of her head and forced a smile. "She's quite the character, isn't she?"

Not waiting for a response, Rin cast her gaze towards the lunch line. "Hey, Miku, I'm going to go get lunch."

"School lunch? Yuck." She made a face. "We'll be sitting near the entrance."

"M'kay." Rin quickly shuffled awkwardly from Miku and towards the lunch line.

_Save me save me save me-_

Rin stalled as much as she could, choosing the longest line and taking her time collecting her plastic tray. She looked down at what she ended up with, pizza and some wilted lettuce and milk.

She felt like a zombie as she clammored over to where she saw Miku. She picked a seat directly across from her rather than next to her. Still engrossed in a conversation with Oliver, Miku gave Rin an oblivious smile. Rin sat and went about attacking her lunch until she was interrupted mid-bite.

"Hi, I'm Luka Megurine." Rin was taken aback, she had forgotten the presence of other people around her. She tried to smother her surprise with a (fake) smile.

"Rin. Rin Kagamine."

"You can just call me Luka-san, everyone calls me by my first name anyway." She shrugged.

Wait- Luka? Megurine? Was the most popular girl in the school, really chatting to the girl who hid in the library during lunch? _Remind me why is she even noticing me?_

Rin wondered where Gakupo, her basicly supermodel (but also annoyingly self-centered) boyfriend, was. He was probably arriving any moment.

Luka-san tossed a lock of pink hair over her shoulder and rest her head in her hands. Her perfectly manicured manicured nails complimented her well... Oh look, a subject change. "Where did you get your nails done?" Rin asked. _That's the kind if stuff girls talk about, right?_

"Oh," Luka looked down at her own hands, fingers splayed. "You like?"

Rin nodded. Luka-san's nails were peach with little painted flowers and Rin couldn't help but wonder if that was the kind of thing Oliver liked. She swallowed hard. "Mhm. They're really pretty."

"Well, my mom works at this salon downtown but I get family discounts."

"That's pretty cool."

"Yeah."

After that their conversation died down. Soon enough Gakupo showed up by Luka's side and they started cuddling, holding her and then...

Rin turned away. She began munching at her lunch and mentally noted a few people she recognized, Kaito, erm- some brunette girl with out out of uniform... Actually, if she were honest with herself, Rin didn't know many of these people. All she knew was that they were semi-important and Miku was part of their crowd now because she was with Oliver.

As she continued eating, her food tasted like sawdust to her tongue. She gulped down as much as she could stand.

When Miku finally looked available, now that the lover's gaze between her and Oliver had been temporarily severed, she turned to miku.

"So... Are you guys like, an item now?"

Miku lowered her voice and leaned towards Rin. "Well, he still has some things to resolve with his jealous ex." She nodded across the room to Seeu, a blonde with orange kitty ears and long wavy hair. Her voice returned to it's normal level. "It's been almost a year, seriously? Something about her cat and his bird and differences. But I guess you could say it's something like that."

Rin poked at her food. "That's gr-"

A loud ring sounded drowning out the rest of what Rin said. Students quickly started filing out and dumping garbage into nearby trash bins.

"Hey, I'll tell you more in math." Miku promised as they both stood up.

Rin smiled, bid farewell, and disappeared as quickly as she could before collapsing into a bathroom stall. She sat curled up with her arms hugged around her knees. Rin stayed in there long after the class bell rung and started crying.

* * *

"Hello? Earth to Rin~"

Rin didn't how much time had past since she had been sitting there after the teacher's lecture had ended. Long after it did, Rin sat staring at _nothing_. She had purposely skipped the class she had with Oliver and now she had somehow ended up in class with Miku. They had almost every class together.

Miku waved her hands in front of Rin's eyes and Rin quickly shook her head and blinked. "Sorry. I just zoned out for a second."

"You look awful. Are you okay?" Miku poked her cheek.

"I'm fine. I just didn't sleep well."

"Sheesh, that's a bummer. You can nap during history class, if you want. I'll cover for you."

"Thanks, Miku-chan."

"Of course, anytime. That's what friends are for, right?"

Rin numbly wondered if a single person in her last class, biology, had even noticed she skipped. The teacher took attendance, of course, but had anyone really noticed? Or cared? Rin looked down and begun flipping through her notes. "What did I miss?"

"Not much," Miku chuckled. "Just the usuall. Here, copy mine." She pulled out a piece of paper filled with equations and formulas.

Rin glanced at the clock and then frantically started writing. While she caught up, Miku stared out the window. After a bit of scribbling and writing, Rin reached the end of her paper.

The sun cast beautiful rays on Miku's beautiful porcelain features. Rin sighed, She was lovely, sweet and charming. Her long eyelashes complimented her aqua eyes well.

"Is there anyone you like, Rin?" Miku asked, smiling faintly.

"Ah- Not really..." Rin turned back towards her paper. She lowered her pencil to write but quickly remembered she had already written everything down.

"You're blushing." Miku's calm demeanor broke into a grin and she propped her elbows on Rin's desk.

"Am not!" Rin clenched her pencil and turned away.

"Are too."

"Am not!"

"Hehe, your so cute when you get flustered." she said. "So, this guy must be pretty cute."

"I don't like anyone!" She turned away and started gathering her things.

"Hey, it's alight if you don't want to tell me, I understand." _Of course you do._

"I already told you: I don't like anyone!"

"Rin, it's written l over your face."

"Miku! I'm serious!"

"Please, just tell me. I don't like it when you keep secrets from me." Miku batted her eyelashes.

"Seriously."

"Oh come on, what will it take for you to tell me?

"Fine, whatever. It's just some guy. He's not all that special or anything."

"No way. I don't believe it for a second." She sat up a little straighter.

"Well... there's someone he likes." Her throat ran dry. She toyed with the seams of her skirt.

"Nuh uh! Whose this guy? No other girl is better than Rin!" _You bet there is, Miku_.

Rin looked at the clock. There was only a minute left of class.

"Forget it. I'll tell you later." _Or never._ That works too

"Rin, you can talk to me when you need to."

_No, I can't. Not you, not Saya-san. Not anyone._

* * *

The next night Rin had little to no motivation to find Len. She simply stayed in the spot where she woke up- or was it falling asleep? -and stared at the sky- or what portion of her view wasn't shrouded by the fog.

The sky was white, Rin noted. She hadn't noticed the sky up until now. Pure white. Not a raincloud or blemish in sight. Pretty. Like white roses-

"No matter what I say, you won't stop coming, will you?" Len spoke from behind Rin's head. His voice was even but his message was still clear. She wondered why he was here and not fighting Mikuo. Like any other friend rivalry, their counterparts would be fighting, wouldn't they? At least, that's Mrs. Saya's theory.

"If you want me gone, I'll be happy to oblige." Rin closed her eyes; She liked the detached feeling she felt in this world. Her cares were too far away to bother her. This world seemed to govern on it's own rules.

There was a long silence between them. Typically, Len said little and spoke only when spoken to. It was Rin who filled the gaps in these moments of silence.

Rin sighed. "Are you always in this awful wasteland?"  
"No. I fight elsewhere as well."

"... Elsewhere?" She opened her eyes.

"Yes. As I've said before, this is my world."

"What's Miku's world like?" Rin sat up

"His name is Mikuo, also _Wrath_. Not miku."

"Same difference." Rin said. "What's it like?"

He shrugged. "Less than interesting."

"Look who's talking." She cast her gaze at her own surroundings. Rin thought Miku's world was probably that of a garbage disposit.

She realized she wasn't being fair, Miku couldn't have possibly known better. Rin had no right to resent her for it, she earned Oliver fair and square... Well, maybe not so much. But dating was never fair game anyway.

She stood up and examined the dreamscape. "Other self, huh...?" She muttered quietly. "Is this supposed to be a representation of myself?"

Len offered no answer. Suddenly, to Rin, his world seemed so desolate and empty. How awful it must be to live a life only of fighting and solitude.

"Why do you want me gone?" Rin's gaze met Len's. "I might be able to leave if I could understand why."

"It's... It's hard for me to fight for you and protect you at the same time. I can't garantee your safety out of your own world."

"Alright," she said. "And why do you protect me?"

"I don't know." He looked away. "Instinct, I suppose.

"Hey, Len." Rin took a step towards Len and continued, "Do you really not know what love is..?"

"I know only what you've told me."

A lot of Len's feelings (or lack thereof) made sense in a logical way. Humans were irrational and made simple things like physical contact or kisses so much more than they should be sometimes.

Still, no one deserved to live such an empty life. Saya-san said the fighters had no emotion but could learn to feel too, didn't she?

"Len..."

"Yes?"

"Nothing." She said but quickly added, "I like your name better than mine."

He stared and then finally said, "Okay."

"'Okay'? Can't I get a better response out of you?"

"Ok-...yes."

Suddenly, Rin had an idea.

"Death," she said. She hardly ever called him by his real name. _Gold_ _death_. It tasted strange on her lips. She liked it, but not as much as she did calling him Len.

"Rin?"

"Do you want to know what a kiss feels like?"

"I don't know," he said. "Do I?"

"No." She took a another step towards him. "But I'm going to kiss you anyway. Or at least, teach you how to."

End of chapter.

* * *

Edit: I wrote this story when I was ignorant about a lot of japanese culture. Yes, I now know in that in Japan they eat in classrooms and they don't change rooms but since this is targeted to english-speaking audiances, I'm not going to change it. This is also because I would have to change the entire setting. I already went through a lot of trouble just to find these documents so I could edit them. But I will keep this in mind for future references. I'm sorry if it offends you.

Let me tell you about a few of my 'head cannon' relationships: GakupoXLuka, GakupoXGumi, LenXRin, RinXMikuo, LolaXLeon, KaitoXMeiko, KaitoXLuka (I don't really like them as a couple, they just sound well together in songs), AvannaXYohioloid, AvannaXOliver, PrimaXAntonio. Mew, Neru (not a vocaloid tho) and Lily tend to strike me as single ladies.

I know you're probably wondering who half off these vocaloids are but if you knew, then there's 3 brownie points for you. And here's a true vocaloid fan badge for you, welcome to the club where we love all vocaloids, popular and obscure alike.

Since I'm active again I will take most kinds of stories, parings and whatnot, even if it's outside my OTPs. Just see my front page! :3


	5. First kiss

**Author's Note: Hi guys! I'm back from my hiatus. It feels really great to begin writing this story again and I remembered how much I missed my Rinny and Lenny (╥﹏╥) Thanks to a few people who have told me they wanted me back and other encouragement I've received. You know who you are. (and yes, I'm getting to my other stories next)**

**I just wanted to say I revised my old chapters. I promise these next few chapters will be longer but I couldn't wait to post this one. I fixed a few holes here and there in my others chapters as well. Not too much, but a few subtle things and grammar mistakes. If you catch any mistakes, feel free to go grammar nazi and plot-hole kamikaze on me. I would appreciate it.**

* * *

Chapter 5

Was kissing a mirrored version of yourself more egocentric or incestual? Or neither? The idea seemed more and more strange as Rin thought about it.

While she sat next to Len on the ground she shifted herself a little closer to him. It wasn't too late to change her mind, she thought. Then again, she had nothing to lose.

She reached out her hand and touched Len's cheek. His skin was cold, she felt. Not chillingly so, but pleasant. Like a breeze on a hot summer's day. She was surprised that he let her touch him like this. He always kept his distance emotionally and they only touched physically when nessesary. Though, of course, he didn't see it the way she saw it.

She pushed a golden lock of out of his face. His face mirrored her's in almost every way but his features were sharper, more defined and more... perfect. He was a better, genderbent version of herself. When she looked in his eyes she saw a small, pitiful Rin in nothing but a nightgown staring back at her.

Butterflies fluttered in her stomach. Was she really going to have her first kiss with herself? Rin swallowed.

"A kiss doesn't only have to be on the lips, you know."

She rested both her hands on his shoulders and leaned into him. She quickly landed a peck on his cheek and stayed there for a moment. Then she let her hands fall back to her side as she settled back.

He brought his own hand to where she had kissed him. His normally intense gaze was soft and glassy.

"Your turn," she said. "Easy, right?"

Slowly, he reached for her hand and caressed it carefully as if she were made of porcelain. He placed his lips the already healing scar of her palm. His hands were soft despite his high activity of battle, she noticed. Rin wondered how the other selves' bodies regenerated so fast.

"Is this a kiss?"

"Ah- not quite, at least, I don't think..." She said but still blushed. She felt a tingling sensation where he touched her. He was tentative, his lips still lingering in her open hand as if he were taking time to memorize it. He turned her palm over and kissed the back of it. Then, seeing no negative reaction, he started planting small kisses up her arm leading to her neck and shoulders.

"Stop it," Rin giggled as his cool breath tickled her skin. She felt her heart beat faster.

Len paused and his eyebrows furrowed.

"Ah- that's not what I meant." She turned a shade deeper and adverted her eyes. "T-that wasn't what I-I liked it..."

She hated herself for not being able to communicate properly and Len's lack of knowledge. However, she noticed he blushed ever so slightly too.

"You don't mind?" He asked. She shook her head.

Len started slow, his gloved hand trailed along the fabric covering her shoulders. Any sort of contact that didn't involve violence seemed unfamiliar to him, but not in any way that made him cringe like before. One of his hands -his favored left one, like her- cupped the side of her face. Expecting him to go for the kiss she leaned in, closed her eyes, and puckered slightly.

However, she felt him peck her cheek and her eyelids fluttered open. She lowered her eyes with a little disappointed and some embaressment as he pulled away.

"Your turn."

She bit her bottom lip. "Right."

If he wasn't going to kiss her first, then she was going to make the first move. Rin leaned into him and then her lips hovered before she kissed him. She started slow and hesitant, unsure what to do after that. As his lips moved under hers, she moved her hands on his chest. He shifted his weight and at first she thought it was because he was uncomfortable. She started to pull back but then he snaked his arms around her waist.

"Is this okay?" He breathed.

She nodded numbly and put her arms around his neck. A slight hesitation played on both of their lips as they kissed, their lips opening and closing around the other's. She took the lead at first but soon they became flawlessly in sync. She moved her lips in small motions, just like how she'd seen on those romantic movies. It had always looked so cheesy to Rin, especially in her mom's favorite Korean drama, but she never knew how good it would feel- especially when your partner did it back. She never imagined being with someone cold would feel so nice either. His body shifting against hers made goosebumps rise on her arms. She felt the muscles in his chest move as he moved his arms up her back.

She had never been so intimate with someone else that she forgot how to do just about everything- even breathing. Nobody ever told her what to do when breathing heavily, or how to even breath while kissing. Rin tried to pull back subtly every so often when her chest screamed for air but it came out in desperate gasps. He was breathing a little heavier too, she noticed and they both pulled back enough to lock eyes for a moment.

"That was good for a first," she said though she had no expirience on the matter.

His cold breath caressed her warm face as his gloved hands rested on either side. She placed her favored hand above his for a moment, but not before she tugged off both his gloves. Their hands laced together perfectly. He swept his lips across her hand and she shivered.

"Len," she smiled and he did too, something she hadn't seen him do before. She would kiss him many times if that was what it took to make his eyes light up or see that pink blush stain his skin.

She nuzzled the side of his face, almost close to his ear and he recoiled in surprise.

"T-that feels weird. Is it supposed to be like that?" He blurted quickly.

"Yeah. Wait, hold still," she said. He scooted back to get away but he was instead cornered between a wall and Rin. Now that she had him where she wanted, she kissed the soft spot where she thought he was most sensitive. He turned his head and blushed deeper.

"Rin. Please, stop. I don't like it."

"You don't?" She undid a button or two at the top of his shirt and began to kiss his collarbone.

"It feels... really good."

She whispered quietly in his ear. "Then that's good."

"...Rin..."

She chuckled as she watched his reaction. He frowned, unamused. "Gold death, your just too cute when you-" She started.

She let out a small scream as he reversed their positions. Before she could even blink she was now against the wall. His golden eyes gleamed as towered above her and shook hair out of his eyes.

"You're a fool if you think I'm as vulnerable as you. I'm faster than you, stronger too," he growled. He spoke in a lower voice, their lips almost touching. "Do you think I can't hear your heart beating faster or your knees shaking right now?"

She held very still as he brought his lips upon hers. He traced his finger across her jawline slowly like it were the blade of his scyth. His hands found their way through her loose hair and she shivered with delight.

"I could easily kill you with my bare hands. You wouldn't even have time to scream," he mumbled against her lips. She inhaled sharply and held very still.

"Rin, you're the first person that I..." He stopped. His eyes clouded over and he adverted his eyes.

He stared to the side for a moment and his mind seemed elsewhere.

"Death," she tried to call him back. When he didn't respond she knit her eyebrows in confusion. She tried to meet his lips but he pulled away.

"Hey, that's not fair." She said.

"Rin," he said in her ear, his voice suddenly urgent. "You have to get out of here."

She felt like someone dropped a weight on her chest. "You don't mean..."

"Rin." His voice was stern. And just like that they both got up. There was a terrible finality when he let her go and when he did she felt very chilly and alone.

She refused to meet his eyes because she could even feel what a mess she must've looked like right then. She ran her fingers through her own hair to quickly fix it but couldn't help remembering his face close to hers and his hands in her hair. His soft hands touching her and learning curves...

"Quick, you've got to-"

"Len..." Right before he was about to get ready to teleport her back she grabbed his arm.

"Yes?"

"I... Nevermind." She swallowed hard. She suddenly put her arms around him and buried her face in his neck. He looked a little messy too, his shirt was partially untucked and wrinkled from their embrace.

"Was I that bad?"

"No. Not at all," she murmured quietly. She still felt adrenaline pounding through her vains and seeing his face only enhanced it.

"I'm sorry, for scaring you like that." He spoke softly, realizing how timid and scared she looked. Quick to anger, but also quick to forgive, just as she. "Rin, I'm sorry."

"Mhm," she said quietly. "What were you going to say before?"

"Oh, that? I... I was just going to say that you were the first person I- I have ever felt vulnerable around before."

Len had already started fading from her vision and she felt herself disintegrating in her arms. She noticed his mouth twitch and she smiled. They were just getting started.

"Let's work on it again tomorrow."

End of Chapter.


End file.
